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    (313): View more from Michigan

    Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.

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    Replies (40) Good night (13996) Bad night (1398) Order T-Shirt
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    (612): View more from Minnesota

    hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good

    (651): View more from Minnesota

    who is this?

    (612): View more from Minnesota

    jesse's little brother

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    Replies (42) Good night (1489) Bad night (4598)
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    (415): View more from California

    u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them

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    Replies (43) Good night (3631) Bad night (583) Order T-Shirt
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    (515): View more from Iowa

    Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms

    (712): View more from Iowa

    Oh God

    (515): View more from Iowa

    I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship

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    Replies (31) Good night (1082) Bad night (1964)
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    (978): View more from Massachusetts

    every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.

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    Replies (60) Good night (2615) Bad night (891) Order T-Shirt
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    (443): View more from Maryland

    guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way

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    Replies (5) Good night (497) Bad night (2397) Order T-Shirt
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    (516): View more from New York

    Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg

    (410): View more from Maryland

    Omg suz!! take the unibrow off

    (516): View more from New York

    No! im just getting hammered instead

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    Replies (12) Good night (2572) Bad night (424)
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    (419): View more from Ohio

    There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around

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    Replies (41) Good night (700) Bad night (3296) Order T-Shirt
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    (917): View more from New York City

    i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!

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    Replies (12) Good night (4558) Bad night (626) Order T-Shirt
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    (440): View more from Ohio

    It looked like if robin williams had a vagina

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    Replies (5) Good night (454) Bad night (2616) Order T-Shirt
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    (573): View more from Missouri

    i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru

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    Replies (22) Good night (767) Bad night (3388) Order T-Shirt
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    (262): View more from Wisconsin

    When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.

    (612): View more from Minnesota

    only room for one pussy in that bed.

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    Replies (9) Good night (724) Bad night (2240)
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    (508): View more from Massachusetts

    so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear

    (401): View more from Rhode Island

    ...this stays between you and me

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    Replies (6) Good night (924) Bad night (2031)
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    (703): View more from Virginia

    Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more

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    Replies (203) Good night (116779) Bad night (3274) Order T-Shirt
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    (404): View more from Georgia

    Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.

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    Replies (2) Good night (2630) Bad night (416)
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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