My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.