just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.