So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.