Texts From Last Night

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(518): View more from New York

Only a mothe r could love this liver

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(518): Only a mothe r could love this liver http://tfl.nu/k0p5

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I hope mine doesn't look like that

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(250): I hope mine doesn't look like that http://tfl.nu/sndl

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.

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(617): Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston. http://tfl.nu/p3k5

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(802): View more from Vermont

OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.

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(802): OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made. http://tfl.nu/87yq

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(510): View more from California

he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.

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(510): he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted. http://tfl.nu/vxmy

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo

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(978): so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo http://tfl.nu/rg6x

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(404): View more from Georgia

I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said

(770): View more from Georgia

she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to

(404): View more from Georgia

You KNEW her power was out...

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(404): I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said (770): she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to (404): You KNEW her power was out... http://tfl.nu/ggzc

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(562): View more from California

omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.

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(562): omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever. http://tfl.nu/2p77

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(515): View more from Iowa

Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines

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(515): Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines http://tfl.nu/x6qw

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

How was your Memorial Day?

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.

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(717): How was your Memorial Day? (1-717): Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name. http://tfl.nu/grou

Replies (10) Good night (3635) Bad night (544)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?

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(651): Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women? http://tfl.nu/yufj

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(773): View more from Illinois

is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?

(773): View more from Illinois

it's more of a rinse.

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(773): is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar? (773): it's more of a rinse. http://tfl.nu/la1k

Replies (66) Good night (1329) Bad night (2381)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.

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(774): I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me. http://tfl.nu/t4sa

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(970): View more from Colorado

Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....

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(970): Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning..... http://tfl.nu/nrjr

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(404): View more from Georgia

I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?

(503): View more from Oregon

Succeeded.

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(404): I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life? (503): Succeeded. http://tfl.nu/i020

Replies (7) Good night (4460) Bad night (513)

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