he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE