You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.