Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Send us your Text From Last Night!
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up