I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.