I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Send us your Text From Last Night!
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."