I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...