I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it