Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.