you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Send us your Text From Last Night!
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.