He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in