He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.