why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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