I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat