Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?