In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Send us your Text From Last Night!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you