Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace