how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face