She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...