Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
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So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
i don't wanna talk about it
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Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.