I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
Well my cheeks are red now
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.