I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet