Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.