you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
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Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
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I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.