we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
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You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
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I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.