She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober