the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.