you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..