Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point