My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
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You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
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and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.