I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
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We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
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how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"