I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...