4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake