Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high