just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize