When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
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Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd