I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.