I accidentally had phone sex last night
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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