i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
