There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.