Texts From Last Night · hotmomma5150's Favorites

hotmomma5150's Favorites Texts:

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.

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(864): Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some. http://tfl.nu/bkik

Replies (27) Good night (3230) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
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(510): View more from California

Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.

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(510): Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism. http://tfl.nu/z92b

Replies (13) Good night (1705) Bad night (700) Order T-Shirt
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(843): View more from South Carolina

What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.

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(843): What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts. http://tfl.nu/4ub5

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(410): View more from Maryland

Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.

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(410): Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times. http://tfl.nu/siml

Replies (8) Good night (2166) Bad night (624)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.

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(614): I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together. http://tfl.nu/yozh

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(337): View more from Louisiana

I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.

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(337): I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet. http://tfl.nu/ug81

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(352): View more from Florida

The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"

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(352): The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again" http://tfl.nu/25pr

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(301): View more from Maryland

Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.

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(301): Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours. http://tfl.nu/5jwu

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.

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(612): Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked. http://tfl.nu/oddr

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(732): View more from New Jersey

got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance

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(732): got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance http://tfl.nu/oovm

Replies (8) Good night (2017) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt
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(607): View more from New York

There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.

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(607): There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor. http://tfl.nu/j4bf

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(303): View more from Colorado

It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI

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(303): It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI http://tfl.nu/jysc

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(253): View more from Washington

He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.

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(253): He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy. http://tfl.nu/b383

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(212): View more from New York

Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?

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(212): Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes? http://tfl.nu/3emh

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note

(1+44): View more from

Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!

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(+44): Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note (1+44): Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud! http://tfl.nu/x31j

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(352): View more from Florida

He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.

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(352): He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now. http://tfl.nu/h06b

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(319): View more from Iowa

Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?

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(319): Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world? http://tfl.nu/2f1z

Replies (7) Good night (1922) Bad night (357) Order T-Shirt
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(760): View more from California

She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder

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(760): She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder http://tfl.nu/mb3b

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(303): View more from Colorado

so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???

(1-303): View more from Colorado

all of the above

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(303): so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after??? (1-303): all of the above http://tfl.nu/yvgg

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers

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(267): This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers http://tfl.nu/wazn

Replies (6) Good night (1243) Bad night (247) Order T-Shirt

hotmomma5150's Favorites Texts:

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