How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN