Texts From Last Night

dragonmaster92's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.

  (214): View more from Texas

  Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.

  (817): View more from Texas

  You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): They asked me to help them shop for lingerie. (214): Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better. (817): You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for. http://tfl.nu/hqk4
  Replies (35) Good night (9773) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends. (1-630): if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs... http://tfl.nu/id4n
  Replies (51) Good night (9967) Bad night (1174)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country. http://tfl.nu/okwk
  Replies (84) Good night (12209) Bad night (1050) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow

  (1-269): View more from Michigan

  Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow (1-269): Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10 http://tfl.nu/n472
  Replies (63) Good night (14308) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity

  (1-209): View more from California

  nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity (1-209): nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all http://tfl.nu/t93h
  Replies (43) Good night (14960) Bad night (1422) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited. http://tfl.nu/8ftm
  Replies (26) Good night (15546) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  doooooooo herrrrrrrrr

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I'm out of practice. be my yoda

  (314): View more from Missouri

  put your penis in her you must.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): doooooooo herrrrrrrrr (504): I'm out of practice. be my yoda (314): put your penis in her you must. http://tfl.nu/ti1e
  Replies (58) Good night (17049) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win. http://tfl.nu/jyaa
  Replies (64) Good night (16510) Bad night (1184) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating. http://tfl.nu/umg8
  Replies (34) Good night (16415) Bad night (1144) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music http://tfl.nu/f2pv
  Replies (48) Good night (16987) Bad night (1019) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.

  (1-931): View more from Tennessee

  Wtf? What happened?

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other. (1-931): Wtf? What happened? (931): Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home. http://tfl.nu/q0zo
  Replies (41) Good night (16671) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him http://tfl.nu/5c6r
  Replies (142) Good night (16727) Bad night (2390) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever." http://tfl.nu/4fcm
  Replies (49) Good night (16747) Bad night (1360) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook. http://tfl.nu/7oed
  Replies (54) Good night (17746) Bad night (468) Order T-Shirt