bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.