Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
