Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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