my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?