I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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