I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm fucking your sister right now.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother