How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
