Texts From Last Night

QuarterSloth's Favorites Texts:

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  (310): View more from California

  Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...

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  (310): Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair... http://tfl.nu/dvxl
  Replies (4) Good night (2092) Bad night (575) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?

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  (708): Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight? http://tfl.nu/wnvq
  Replies (38) Good night (17135) Bad night (1906) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.

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  (443): You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies. http://tfl.nu/c673
  Replies (20) Good night (5128) Bad night (1139) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"

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  (425): I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?" http://tfl.nu/i35w
  Replies (9) Good night (3493) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me

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  (203): I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me http://tfl.nu/osg9
  Replies (45) Good night (7847) Bad night (1066) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final

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  (610): You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final http://tfl.nu/7b8j
  Replies (18) Good night (9842) Bad night (736) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight

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  (313): Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight http://tfl.nu/29c9
  Replies (30) Good night (6062) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!

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  (256): do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?! http://tfl.nu/1fx5
  Replies (12) Good night (6554) Bad night (1017) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!

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  (928): Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look! http://tfl.nu/iwt3
  Replies (38) Good night (6692) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.

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  (248): He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall. http://tfl.nu/m004
  Replies (10) Good night (2150) Bad night (759) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind

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  (303): I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind http://tfl.nu/1u44
  Replies (15) Good night (3470) Bad night (373) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand

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  (603): I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand http://tfl.nu/gtek
  Replies (8) Good night (1971) Bad night (304) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Do I really need this much space in my mouth?

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Are you already high?

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  (262): Do I really need this much space in my mouth? (414): Are you already high? http://tfl.nu/waj8
  Replies (10) Good night (1168) Bad night (255)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.

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  (303): Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up. http://tfl.nu/afn3
  Replies (6) Good night (929) Bad night (311) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.

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  (814): I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography. http://tfl.nu/gojc
  Replies (4) Good night (1978) Bad night (377)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.

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  (813): I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me. http://tfl.nu/rba0
  Replies (3) Good night (2102) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...

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  (412): You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex... http://tfl.nu/wlmu
  Replies (12) Good night (2620) Bad night (387) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5

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  (+44): i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5 http://tfl.nu/ljio
  Replies (14) Good night (2619) Bad night (558)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.

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  (850): Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians. (1-850): Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue. http://tfl.nu/hc5m
  Replies (10) Good night (3011) Bad night (491)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question

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  (319): Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question http://tfl.nu/zh3n
  Replies (7) Good night (1234) Bad night (377) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.

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  (563): Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me. http://tfl.nu/48rp
  Replies (11) Good night (3064) Bad night (623) Order T-Shirt
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.

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  (320): Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store. http://tfl.nu/lfii
  Replies (3) Good night (1226) Bad night (233) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  just woke up under a car ? That's odd

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Holy fucking shit

  (845): View more from New York

  WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT

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  (845): just woke up under a car ? That's odd (603): Holy fucking shit (845): WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT http://tfl.nu/jvxr
  Replies (8) Good night (2995) Bad night (379)