get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
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He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
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so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.