Texts From Last Night

OhhhLori's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?! http://tfl.nu/h7d0
  Replies (20) Good night (7747) Bad night (824) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me. http://tfl.nu/ilti
  Replies (42) Good night (9991) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever http://tfl.nu/iy56
  Replies (51) Good night (10825) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle" http://tfl.nu/r7nr
  Replies (6) Good night (3603) Bad night (541) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing. http://tfl.nu/j9h2
  Replies (16) Good night (1652) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina http://tfl.nu/plxw
  Replies (4) Good night (2416) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel. http://tfl.nu/egxv
  Replies (3) Good night (1236) Bad night (383) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood. http://tfl.nu/swis
  Replies (4) Good night (568) Bad night (1385)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off http://tfl.nu/fxgn
  Replies (8) Good night (1169) Bad night (439) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me! http://tfl.nu/u8n7
  Replies (2) Good night (1049) Bad night (381) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird. http://tfl.nu/r3xq
  Replies (3) Good night (1112) Bad night (406) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed http://tfl.nu/pn7a
  Replies (4) Good night (900) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often http://tfl.nu/p8eg
  Replies (14) Good night (1516) Bad night (409) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again. http://tfl.nu/ajpy
  Replies (4) Good night (605) Bad night (878) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation. http://tfl.nu/s4gv
  Replies (7) Good night (1157) Bad night (585) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  DOWN HORMONES. BACK.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): DOWN HORMONES. BACK. http://tfl.nu/nnqc
  Replies (4) Good night (1309) Bad night (413) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.

  (1-985): View more from Louisiana

  Do I have a choice?

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response. (1-985): Do I have a choice? (985): I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again. http://tfl.nu/kt0k
  Replies (13) Good night (2669) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out. http://tfl.nu/7070
  Replies (5) Good night (1100) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today. (773): I'm not sure which feat is more impressive... http://tfl.nu/ga4t
  Replies (2) Good night (1392) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night. (732): Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming. http://tfl.nu/bgum
  Replies (6) Good night (1944) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now http://tfl.nu/kusn
  Replies (12) Good night (2176) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt