We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
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Shiiit you're never too old, youthinize the fuck up!
that just sounds dangerously close to "euthanize" for comfort
He's too young for you, sweetie.
That's not adulthood. That's obsessiveness.