did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
