You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.