Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!