Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
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is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.