Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.