Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.