Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.