Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.