Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.