every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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