remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize