And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao