a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
