i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.