Texts From Last Night

Texts from December, 2009

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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses

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  (423): he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses http://tfl.nu/s1hg
  Replies (44) Good night (1258) Bad night (5557) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.

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  (301): just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom. http://tfl.nu/qack
  Replies (30) Good night (5222) Bad night (980)
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  (315): View more from New York

  words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover

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  (315): words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover http://tfl.nu/6ccc
  Replies (46) Good night (5276) Bad night (601) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.

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  (586): Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now. http://tfl.nu/hw0c
  Replies (41) Good night (5882) Bad night (845)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.

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  (803): Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C. http://tfl.nu/tif7
  Replies (18) Good night (3478) Bad night (1056) Order T-Shirt
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  (325): View more from Texas

  Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...

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  (325): Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on... http://tfl.nu/mq0s
  Replies (42) Good night (1189) Bad night (6514) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"

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  (704): you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!" http://tfl.nu/9nr0
  Replies (19) Good night (6298) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.

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  (908): My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar. http://tfl.nu/kqtr
  Replies (9) Good night (3283) Bad night (520) Order T-Shirt
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  (469): View more from Texas

  She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke

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  (469): She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke http://tfl.nu/g6cx
  Replies (15) Good night (796) Bad night (4455) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up

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  (617): you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up http://tfl.nu/71wz
  Replies (14) Good night (4791) Bad night (700) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid

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  (509): im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid http://tfl.nu/xma9
  Replies (48) Good night (7641) Bad night (664) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.

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  (310): i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito. http://tfl.nu/9mvh
  Replies (15) Good night (4481) Bad night (913) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad

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  (570): the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad http://tfl.nu/6zrt
  Replies (20) Good night (10852) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree

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  (315): I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree http://tfl.nu/o54r
  Replies (4) Good night (4492) Bad night (592) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook

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  (614): I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook http://tfl.nu/v6tz
  Replies (12) Good night (531) Bad night (3792) Order T-Shirt