Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight