Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
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Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
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Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Dude you don't even follow my twitter