I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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